from Hercules and Xena Yearbook (Topps) 1998 pgs. 38-41 |
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fan once wrote that one way you could tell if Xena was invited to your Thanksgiving dinner was to look at the place cards. If half of them read "remarkably coincidental Xena look alike," the odds are good Xena was in town. And she will have brought along with her Princess Diana, Meg the Tramp and Leah the Vlrgin Hestian Priestess. If the gods have their way, Sappho the Poetess may also turn out to look exactly like Xena.
It all began with "Warrior...Princess," a first season episode in which we discover that King Lias' daughter, Diana, shares the face and form of Xena. King Lias' cousin, King Sisyphus, told King Lias about the resemblance and when Diana's life is endangered because of her impending marriage to Prince Mineus (one of those "unite the kingdoms" arrangements), Xena is asked by King L to pose as his daughter in an effort to flush out the would-be assassins.
In the Season Two sequel, "Warrior...Princess... Tramp," another Xena look-alike shows up in the persona of Meg the Tramp, who has been recruited to impersonate Princess Diana. The villain here is Agis. His plan: kill King Lias, substitute Meg for Diana (who will inherit the throne) and then Meg can turn control of the army over to Agis, who's into the "pillage-and-plunder-your-neighbors" game. The plan is foiled and Meg - who's terrific with spicy food - becomes King Lias' personal cook.
The last (so far!) in this series of "What's My Line?" Xena's is "Warrior...Priestess...Tramp." Gabrielle finds Xena about to be burned at the stake, rescues her, and discovers this Xena clone is actually Leah, Head Priestess of the Hestian Temple. Balius, a fanatical believer in Deilianism, wants to kill all the Hestian virgins and turn everyone on to his own religion. He's discovered the resemblance between Leah and Meg (who perhaps got a bit heavy-handed with the spice, lost her job and is now running the local brothel), and has substituted Meg for the Head Priestess.
Still with us? Great. Now, if nothing else, these three episodes are a tour de force for actress Lucy Lawless as she plays:
Try playing all that without stumbling over your characteristics. And play it all Lucy does! Each character is defined by a different facial expression, body attitude and speech pattern, and Lawless leaves a bit of the original in each impersonation to let you know who's actually playing who.
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There are, however, certain anomalies. I noticed that whenever one of these look-alikes puts on Xena's outfit, her fighting skills go up about twelve notches. And either Xena buys her armor off the rack or Gabrielle has been expanding her entrepreneurial and sewing skills with a mail order business called "Warrior Princess Wear." Leah didn't even have to send away for her copy; she found it in her closet! Raise your hands if you wouldn't kill to be able to tap into the magical source of Xena's outfits.
Another question: Balius knows that Meg and Xena look alike; presumably because he knows Meg. When he decides to overthrow the Hestians, he thought to use this resemblance to his advantage. But, how does he know they both look like Xena? Wlthout television, how does anyone know what anyone looks like in this pre-Mycenean world? Perhaps Gabrielle's been illustrating her scrolls of "On the Road with Xena: Warrior Princess." Or maybe Salmoneus finally got around to doing his biography of Hercules and included snapshots from his personal collection. Can you irnagine how much a first edition of that book would go for in auction at a Hercules/Xena convention?
Here's an injoke for you. In "Warrior... Princess," Xena is asked if she would like something to eat. The food names are unknown to her, but our Warrior Princess is not one to shy away from a new experience and promptly says yes. Then she's asked if she would like, "Akbash now?" She responds, "A few bites of Akbash is just what I need," only to find out that Akbash is the name of Diana's dog. The servant brings over a small, black dog on a pillow. Now, for all you dog aficionados, Akbash is an actual breed of dog weighing in at about 130 pounds and the beast happens to be pure white. It's not a common breed and I wonder how writer Brenda Lilly came to put this in her script.
We Xenaphiles discovered some little known facts in these episodes. No ribbons on the armor, please. Xena likes "dark." Someone needs to tell Princess Diana that Xena doesn't ride sidesaddle. Xena may have many skills, but playing the harp isn't one of them. The real chakram is not a piece of jewelry, not a toy, not made out of wood, nor is it a shamrock. In the time of ancient gods, warlords, and kings, all dresses seem to be in triplicate, i.e., Diana's red dress, Leah's virgin priestess gown, and, in King Lias' house, Xena's leathers and armor. And, last but not least, the first rule for anyone wanting to impersonate Xena is: Stop crying. As in baseball, there's no crying in Warrior Princessdom.
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No discussion of look-alikes and alternate Xenas would be complete without mentioning the playful but evil Xena in "Stranger in a Strange World" and Xena the Conqueror in "Armagoddon Now," both episodes of the Hercules series. Besides being fun for the audience, this wild role-playing is certainly appreciated by Lucy Lawless, who gets to break out of the usually stoic Xena characterization. Gabrielle's influence is definitely mellowing the Warrior Princess, as in "A Day in the Life," but stretching your acting muscles in an ongoing TV series is always a welcome change. In "Stranger," the gleeful, fingernail-clicking Xena from the Bizarro world was nothing less than a showcase performance. And when would we ever have gotten to see Xena in a food fight with Aphrodite, if not for this episode?
Xena the Conqueror is an entirely different story. This was a world where Hercules was never born and Gabrielle never had the opportunity to teach Xena how to love and trust. Here was a glimpse at what Xena would have become if the feral killer from 'lhe Debt" had never found that spark of humanity inside herself that had been stamped almost out of existence during her warlord years.
This pretty much brings us up to date, multiplicity-wise. The oft-rumored "Warrior... Poetess...Tramp" episode may become legend before it ever gets written. Most people first heard about it when Lucy Lawless gave a talk at the Second Annual Official Hercules/Xena Convention last January in Burbank, California. Later, in an interview for TV Guide, it was hinted that k.d. lang would be appearing in the show. Clearly these multiple Lucy episodes have become something of a annual tradition, with "Poetess" apparently the next in line. So keep your eyes peeled for a brand new look-alike scenario - with or without k d lang - as Season Four rolls out.
One final thought: For all those wondering what the "real" Lucy Lawless is like, she stated at that same Burbank convention that, off-camera, she's most like Meg. Now, does that mean she's good with spices in the kitchen, once impersonated a Hestian virgin, knows the ins and outs of running a brothel, had a fling with Joxer? Or could it be the loopy grin, wicked sense of humor and good heart? Somehow, we suspect the latter. Although Joxer's getting cuter by the episode...
SHARON DELANEY is a regular contributor to Xena Magazine and also edits the Official Xena Newsletter. She's the only person l've ever met who's even heard of an Akbash dog.


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